i support RH bill

i am for women's welfare. i am for RH bill

silver year, silver lining?

i will turn twenty-five in less than 2 months. maybe that is the reason why i am very agitated this past few weeks. i dunno what will happen to me after i turn 25. i dunno what to feel. people in this age are usually professionals now and already deciding or starting a career that they dreamed of. i, on the other hand is different. i am still an undergraduate who is not yet due to finish this term. i have been distracted with a part time job that i love and hate at the same time. the job is easy. all you have to do is be patient for 5 hours and listen to japs bicker about work, partners, and/or school work (with thick Japanese accent). i envy and pity these japanese. envied them because they are now professionals. pity them because they are now caught in a rat race called "employee life".

as much as i want to curse my self for not being diligent enough to pass thru university, i can't. it was me who did everything. it was me who decided everything. being bitter about it is not helpful. you may see it as rationalizing or as my personality psychology professor puts it: intellectualizing, i do not entirely regret the fact that i am like this. i may not be a professional yet but i am independent, financially and emotionally. i may not be sitting in an office with colleagues. i may not be by the water cooler in the pantry to whine about how overworked i am. i may not be what my parents wanted me to be. but i think i am a better person. i live the way i see how to live. this lifestyle may not be acceptable to some but i am contented. i think maybe the contentment that i feel is the barrier that prevents me to pursue my dreams.

i gave up on some of my ambitions a couple of years ago when life started to be harsh. i was confronted with harsh situations that led me to abandon some dreams that are reachable before but unreachable now. unreached ambitions crashed me inside that i became pessimistic. thru this, as a normal human being, i adapted to my harsh environment and became contented with what i currently am and what i currently have.

i mewl over the fact that i am 25 and i am already contented. i should be more ambitious as what other 20 something people are doing. i think i should start rebuilding new dreams and ambitions that are rooted with the things that i learned. my wish for my up coming 25th year is that i hope the odds will side with me and that life will be less harsh!