us being single and mapili

the past few days i have been reading blogs about relationships, sexcapades, and rantings about us (gays as ever) always ends up being single. reading more about rantings on being single, its perks, its downsides, and our attitude towards it made me muse over things. are we really to blame? are we the reasons why we feel lonely? or was it destiny (as if i believe in such) that made us like this?

i have been in the dating circle since i started having sex and out of it (sometimes) when i am in a relationship. i obligingly placed my self in the "singles market" in hopes for "the one", a serious relationship, companionship, or just no bullshit awesome sex. usually it ends up with the last choice - the search for an awesome sex. we just want the sexual itch to be given attention to and dealt with. after my share of sexcapades, i realized one thing: why is it easy for us to look for people to address our sexual itch with than to look for "the one"? why is it we lower our standards for the itch to be attended to? why do we set our standards so high for "the one"? are we really that mapili when it comes to our search for partner in life?

we rant about being lonely but we keep on pushing people away. we push them away because we feel that the person is below the standards we set for "the one" and later end up sobbing because we feel lonely again. as a close friend put it: "tayo kase parang gago din minsan. hanap tayo ng hanap ng taong magmamahal sa atin pero pag may dumating sisipain palabas kasi di papasa sa standards natin, kse may nakita tayong mali sa kanya, kse iniisip natin na kung di papasa sa standards di na tayo mamahalin or di na natin kayang mahalin. di man lang nating binigyan ng pagkakataon ang sarili natin na mahalin ng taong to. back out na tayo agad kse may kapintasang nakita. sa kakahanap natin ng pag-ibig using the standards that we have, ayun mr. lonely ang drama ng mga hitad. after nun, balik nanaman sa search for a good shag for us to feel better." after recalling that, i paused for a while looked back and nodded not in agreement but in disappointment. are we really like that?